10 Vow Tips You Need to Read Before Writing Your Own
1. Read lots of vow examples for inspiration.
Start by reading traditional, by-the-book vows from your own religion if you practice a certain faith, and others as well, to see what strikes a chord with you. Incorporate these samples into the original words you write or simply use them as a jumping-off point. Once you’ve found a few you love, consider what it is about the style that draws you to those vows in particular.
2. Agree on format and tone with your partner.
Decide how you want your vows to come across. Do you envision them as humorous? Poetic and romantic? Go over the logistics too. Will you write them separately or together? Will they be completely different or will you make the same promises to each other as you would with traditional vows? Some couples do a little of each. Finally, will you share them with each other or keep them a secret until the wedding day?
3. Jot down notes about your relationship.
Take some time to reflect on your partner. Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Write it all out to get your creative gears turning. Ask yourself certain questions and think about things like why you decided to get married, what hard times you’ve gone through together, what you’ve supported each other through, what challenges you envision for your future, what you want to accomplish together, what makes your relationship tick, what you thought when you first saw your partner, when you realized you were in love, what you respect most about your partner, how your life has gotten better since meeting your partner, what inspires you about your partner, what you miss most about them when you’re apart—and so on.
4. Come up with one or two, or many, promises.
They’re called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most important part. Include promises that are broad in scope (like, “I promise I’ll always be there to support you,” for instance), as well as ones that are very specific to the two of you (like, “I promise I’ll always let you watch Game of Thrones on Sundays.”)
5. Write it all out.
Now that you have notes, you’re ready to establish a structure and write your first draft. It’s helpful to break it into a four-part outline: Affirm your love, praise your partner, offer promises and close with a final vow. Another way to organize it is to start with a short story and then circle back to it at the end.
6. Avoid clichés.
Now that you have your first draft, it’s time to make edits. Borrow from nonreligious poetry and books, and even from romantic movies, but don’t let someone else’s words overpower your own. You want your vows to sound like you and relate to your relationship, and that won’t happen if every word is borrowed from other sources. And if you find yourself relying on cliché phrases (you know, those sayings that have been used over and over so many times they no longer sound genuine) to get your point across, try coming up with a specific example from your relationship that has a similar message. For example, instead of saying, “Love is blind,” you might say, “You’ll always be the most beautiful person to me, whether you’re in sweatpants or dressed to the nines.”
7. Take out anything too cryptic or embarrassing.
You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment. That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words. You’ll want to think about how your vows will sound 10 years from now. If you’re okay with sharing your vows beforehand, you can have a friend or family member read it over ahead of time for feedback.
8. Shorten your vows to one to two minutes, max.
Your vows are important, but that doesn’t mean they should drag on. When you say something meaningful, you shouldn’t have to say it over and over—so pick the most important points and make them. If yours are running longer than two minutes, make some edits. Put some of the more personal thoughts in a letter or gift to your partner on the morning of your wedding and save any guest-related topics for your toasts.
9. Practice out loud (seriously).
It might sound a little awkward, but this really is the best way to prep. Remember to practice, listen to yourself and improve from there. Your vows should be easy to say and sound conversational. As you recite them, listen for any tongue twisters and super-long sentences, then cut them. This is also the time to practice the delivery. And remember: When you’re at the altar, stand straight, look at your spouse and use your hands expressively (but only in small gestures).
10. Make a clean copy for yourself.
The paper you read from should be legible, so even if you’re working on it right up until a few moments before your ceremony, use a fresh piece of paper free of cross-outs, arrows and notes. And give some thought to the presentation too because it’ll likely end up in the photos. You can hand write it in a sweet journal or vow book, or cut and paste the computer print to fit within that. And it also makes a nice keepsake to hang in your home later on. Also, have a backup plan. If you find yourself too emotional to speak (it happens!), you can have your officiant either prompt you by quietly saying the vows first or read the vows on your behalf.
inspired by The Islands
ISLAND CHIC INSPIRATION
Ethereal and dreamlike with a tropical twist, Island Chic is the ideal choice for nature lovers with a stylish side. Even your reception boasts a scene that seems to emerge organically from the lush landscape, blending the unbridled beauty of paradise with chic details to make your day extraordinary.
inspired by Sophistication
SIGNATURE STATEMENT INSPIRATION
Make a statement, a signature statement, one that’s sophisticated and simply breathtaking. Your “I do’s” take center stage under a tasseled floral chandelier. Toast your union with a reception featuring an architectural geometric bar that perfectly accents the classic details of this inspiration.
inspired by Gold
BAND OF GOLD INSPIRATION
Create your own golden rule with a stunning inspiration that frames your special day in modern elegance. Both your ceremony and reception offer a rush of gold, with accents of sapphire and white blooms creating a sophisticated backdrop for your special day. It’s the perfect marriage of elegance and romance, and an inspiration with a heart of gold.
inspired by Tropics
WHEN IN THE TROPICS INSPIRATION
This picture-perfect inspiration transforms the waterfront canvas of an aquamarine sea and deep blue sky, creating an idyllic backdrop for your ceremony. Beneath a dramatic row of splendidly arched palm fronds adorned with brightly colored blooms, the island vibe infuses your reception with vibrant color.
inspired by Nature
CARIBBEAN BREEZES INSPIRATION
For a ceremony as breezy and natural as the islands themselves, look to this organic inspiration. Carefree shabby-chic meets relaxed romance, beautifully blending nature with artfully crafted details. Seeming to emerge naturally from the lush seascapes of paradise, your reception completes the ethereal atmosphere of your celebration of love.
Why use a wedding Planner?
Many wedding planners offer differ levels of services, depending on the needs of the bride and groom. These can include event design, full service planning, day of event coordination, and a la carte services.
Couples who are too busy or planning a very elaborate affair generally call for the services of a full service wedding planner. This includes hiring vendors, the design of the ceremony and reception space, transportation, and more – the full service wedding planner manages every single detail.
A la carte, event design, and day of event coordination reflect the various phases and responsibilities that a wedding planner provides.
Why take a chance with a Planner?
Dream about what you would like, but let a trained professional from ABC help your wedding dreams come true – and also on time and under budget ! Our behind-the scenes professionals can manage the hard work for you, so you can spend more time with your families. A trusted wedding planner can help you decide what details are a must for your big day and which can be spared to save money. A wedding planner can suggest items such as a band, flowers, and monogrammed cocktail napkins are not a requirement, but rather an area to cut the budget. Instead, hire a DJ and replace flowers with candles to cut costs!
Why Choose De’Fahcyi Planner?
We are a part of the oldest and largest group of wedding professionals in the world, we have been making wedding dreams come true. As a member of Association of Bridal Consultant we feel that ABC a company that as been around since 1955 offers the most detailed and comprehensive training in the industry. Also, all of our ABC members agree to uphold the ABC Code of Ethics and Professional Standards of Membership.